


The One Where Cas Boomed

by YourFinalBow



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Domesticity in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Oh Chuck why did I make this, The Author Regrets Everything, no beta we die like castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28707792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourFinalBow/pseuds/YourFinalBow
Summary: “THAT’S IT.” Cas boomed. Yes, boomed. He actually boomed. He stood up at inhuman speed, shoved his chair back with inhuman strength, and boomed.Dean was so taken aback he jumped. Yes, jumped. He actually jumped. Dean, monster hunting, death defying, was-in-literal-Hell-for-literally-40-years Winchester, jumped at the sound of Cas’s booming.Basically Cas's last straw is flung out of the window and chaos ensues.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 12
Kudos: 45





	The One Where Cas Boomed

**Author's Note:**

> Ok ok I've never actually posted anything publicly before, so I have no idea if this is going to go well at all and I might delete it later. 👀
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this stupid little thing I wrote for funzies! Please let me know any mistakes in the comments, I would really appreciate it.

They were sitting at the bunker’s library table when it happened. 

Dean was just peacefully sipping a freshly brewed cup of coffee and reading a book he found on Enochian.

“THAT’S IT.” Cas boomed. Yes, boomed. He actually boomed. He stood up at inhuman speed, shoved his chair back with inhuman strength, and  _ boomed _ .

Dean was so taken aback he jumped. Yes, jumped. He actually jumped. Dean, monster hunting, death defying, was-in-literal-Hell-for-literally-40-years Winchester, jumped at the sound of Cas’s booming.

He also choked on the coffee he was in the middle of drinking, and it took actual skill, but managed to not spill what was left of the blistering hot liquid.

“Jesus fuc-.” He huffed before continuing. “Cas don't do that.”

“Sorry Dean, but this madness has to stop.” By now he was waving his arms around and gesturing like a crazy person.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He asked, half laughing, half wide-eyed and concerned for Cas’s mental state.

“I have a very important question Dean, and I need you to give it to me straight.” 

He might as well have gotten out a blinding interrogation lamp and shined it in Dean’s eyes because  _ wow, _ he was staring daggers at him.

It was honestly unsettling, especially coming from someone who was usually very level headed.

“Cas, buddy, are you… uh, feeling okay?”

“Dean I want an answer, and I want it now.” He slammed his fist on the table and his voice somehow managed to get deeper at the end of the sentence. 

Dean jumped again, this time spilling his coffee all over the front of himself. “God dammit Cas!” It was Dean’s turn to shout. “What did I just tell you?” He was now frantically trying to wipe what felt like the  _ actual fucking sun  _ off his flannel shirt, which was very helpfully sticking to his stomach.

“Ow shit, ow shit, ow.” He glanced around, also frantically, and looked everywhere for anything that he could even remotely use to mop up the current mess of coffee that was soaking through his clothes.

He is going to have words with Folgers,  _ because this is not the best part of waking up. _

He spotted Cas’s trench coat, and before he even realized what he was doing, Dean grabbed it and pulled it towards him.

It might have been useful to remember that Cas is attached to his trench coat  _ before _ he did that.

Dean’s eyes grew even wider because now not only does he feel like he's melting, but a big pile of… angel, is stumbling towards him. So he did what any normal human being would do and he reached for the table cloth.

Cas on the other hand barely seemed to register what was happening.

It was this moment that Sam decided to stroll in before stopping to gawk at the disaster unfolding before his eyes.

“Dean this is serious I need you to answer me!” He continued to yell, before realizing what was happening. He desperately tried to stop himself from falling, but ended up completely on top of Dean, taking the table cloth with them. 

And the lamp and Dean’s book went with the table cloth.

And as a cherry on top Dean’s coffee mug went too,

hitting the floor with a crash.

By this time they were both yelling and in a tangled mess of limbs.

Dean groaned underneath the weight of an angel and probably multiple chairs. “God dammit Cas I…” he trailed off, noticing Sam standing in the doorway, mouth wide open.

“Sammy don't you dare.” Was all he managed to get out before Sam took a picture. He snorted.

“What did you guys do?” Sam asked, laughing. He made no move to help them up.

_ “I  _ was just trying to enjoy my cup of morning coffee when  _ someone  _ started yelling.” Dean said, doing the best he could to glare at Cas. 

It wasn't very intimidating, considering Cas was laying on top of him.

“I was just trying to get Dean to answer my question.” Cas retorted. 

“What question?!” Dean roared, still underneath Cas. “You never actually got to the question!”

“If you would have let me finish before you rudely interrupted, you would know!” 

“Oh yeah ok sorry me spilling coffee all over myself inconvenienced you.” 

They continued to bicker before Sam finally had enough. “Alright that's it you too. Stop arguing like a married couple.” 

They momentarily joint forces to glare at Sam, who just rolled his eyes.

“Ok, get up. We have to clean up your mess.” 

Dean and Cas waited a moment before slowly untangling themselves and getting up off the floor.

“Correction,” Sam started. “You have to clean up your mess.” Before turning around and practically sprinting back the way he came.

Dean groaned and threw his head back. Cas just stood there eyeing the mess like it was the chair’s fault everything on the table was now on the floor.

…

By lunchtime all three of them were settled at the library table again, which was back to its normal, perfectly polished and in-line self. And yeah they had to get into the supply of spare chairs but that's what they were there for.

Dean had a new cup of coffee and was back to reading the book he had found earlier when Sam cleared is throat. Dean eyed him warily.

“So what were you trying to ask Dean earlier?” Sam asked, approaching the subject like someone would approach a bomb. (Well actually a normal person wouldn't approach the bomb at all, but apparently Sam has a death wish.)

Before Dean could make a comment about how Cas could have just asked instead of all the theatrics, or the fact that he had apparently been watching too much Cops, Cas answered.

“Oh I was just wondering how you spell the shortened version of my name.”

“That's all you wanted to know?”

“Yeah wait, that's it? That's not that difficult, it's C-A-S.” Dean said, and at that exact moment, Sam went. “It's spelled C-A-S-S.”

The two brothers glared at each other, and the room fell silent. No one even dared to breathe.

A few seconds passed so Cas cleared his throat.

“Ahm.”

Dean immediately dived to shield his coffee with his entire body and Sam practically fell out of his chair in an attempt to duck underneath the table for cover.

Cas shrank into himself and hugged his trench-coat tightly around his body. 

They all stared at each other, daring someone to make a move.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for getting to the end of this disaster! I hope you liked it.
> 
> Also if you know me in real life no you don't.
> 
> Oh, and if you wanted to, you can follow me on [Tumblr](https://yourfinalbow.tumblr.com/), where I geek out about my favorite things and pretend I have my life together.


End file.
